source link Molly Ringwald is about 3.5 seconds away from blooming her onion when daddy comes-a-knockin. Fake? Yes. Do I play the Breakfast Club soundtrack and spill hand mayonnaise on the floor like the McDonald's night-shift anyway? Yes.
All-Terrain Vehicle Porn - It's the stepping stone in becoming tube sock material in 2018. Most women have little issue adapting, while I'm sitting here waiting for the video where Gizmoduck hate-fucks a zebra titled: Nubile porn videos Dick Tales: Woo-oo
Now if only he put as much effort into his camerawork, as she did making me regret every woman I've slipped the 'ole waffle dolphin inside of (see: 3.5 regrets) maybe we wouldn't be expecting a directors cut of this fine fuckery.
She's no Scarlett Johansson. But what's lacking in popularity & genetics, she makes up for in... well, nothing. This chick is fucking useless. Those hams look like they were bolted on by an intern at LEGOLAND & I dont know why
This is what happens when your competition pushes you too far. Bloodlines are contaminated, confused boners are erected - all because some kooky bitch couldn't keep her hands on her own tits. Watch the full show get linkHERE
A little bit off-topic, but sweet mother of dragons, every time this girl sticks out her tongues (every 8 seconds) her face instantly reminds me why TUMBLR and pocket knives are a horrible combination.
16+ mins of homemade experimenting. So faptastic I canceled my lunch date @ White Castle just so I could re-fap with a clearer mind. TIP: I cancel go to site bags of onion rings for nobody. THAT'S how much potential this girl has.
This one is kind of hard to describe because without context it just comes off as another Kevin Spacey sex ritual. All I know is, I picked a really bad day to get nostalgic about Power Rangers. #only90skidswillunderstandthis
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what Arab jilbab sex rumahporno not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
How to make ur $50 porn vid 100x better? Do a shot of her crinkled starfish before and after sinking the dirty submarine. That's what people really want to see. A sliding scale of damage that FEMA might have to be called in for.
Shame she doesn't make videos anymore. A damn crying shame. Never again will we see this level of excitement when it comes to colonizing the dark planet. EDIT: she's actually still alive/active. more here and here
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and inexperienced females, like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she looks like pre-Civil War Pepper Pots and we're talking perfection here.
There's a pretty thin line between ' i only date girls with alcohol addiction' and being sodomized by Uncle Touch-a-Taint. Where that line actually is... I don't know. But I can tell you for sure, Bing Bing over here just leaped it.
Somewhere between chivalry & the main star having a more objectionable gunt than the NFL draft, I've lost the desire to masturbate. But one thing is for sure: Buzzfeed's loathsome content has officially been 1-upped today.
It might be best you rethink your own personal border control policy & start vetting guys before letting them cross over. That thing you got between your legs is 1 casting couch away from Tom Holland's Night Fright reboot.
You see all these videos of girls too scared to hit a Wendy's drive-thru with a homemade glaze. Then u have Maria Leonne... giving less than zero shits & takes more loads in public than a New York City dump truck. #trendkiller